Crocheting is easy, so why do I find it so hard to read a pattern?

For a start, there are a lot of words.  I'll skip over every single one of them to get straight to the one word: BEGIN.  If I'm lucky, someone will have written that word.  Most often they don't.  So I'm looking instead for "Chain x number of stitches".  Well, shucks, it's not there either.  Where the dickens do you start this thing??

Skip first stitch?? Help!

The picture looks so easy.  I think I can do it without the pattern.  To pot with it, I'll make it up as I go.  I'll make a chain and see how it works out.  Okay, what hook size should I use?  Where is that written?  On one of those thousands of sentences near the top of the page?  God, I hope so.  I'm beginning to think this is too hard for me.  Do I even have the right weight of yarn?

Picture looks so easy.  So why is the pattern so hard to read?

So let's rewind here a second.  You probably didn't actually read the pattern at all until this point.  You looked at the pretty picture and bought the yarn.  That was fun!  But now it's gone to hell in a handcart because it suddenly feels like work, all rules and regulations.  I hate patterns!!

But stop a second.  Someone - like me maybe - sat down and wrote all those words for a reason.  And you've bought those words, also for a reason.  Maybe they could be clues to an easy ride here.  And they are in English.  I know it might look like a code for the Illuminati but I can assure you it's just a few simple abbreviations.

Is crochet a secret code known only to a select few?

So, here you go: Ch118 (or a muliple of 6 +2 (add 2 for turning chain). Why are you telling me this??!!  Stop trying to confuse me!  Do I chain 118 or not??

I've a few ideas as to why a crochet pattern is hard to read and why so many people come to me with amazing crochet skills without ever having mastered reading a pattern.  And the good news?  It's not your fault!  Which is also the bad news, because if it's not your fault, then it must be the fault of whoever wrote the pattern.  And there are trillions of folk writing patterns right now.

1) People who write patterns are not always qualified.  There are so many free patterns out there, written by generous enthusiasts who just want to help you make what they have made.  But they might forget to tell you a few important facts, omit whole sections of the pattern by accident, or just genuinely not be able to translate action into words.  You were looking for the the instruction "tr2Tog"? Forget it, this girl has just told you to "decrease three times evenly across the row".  Whaaaa?? And you said you can crochet? Tspfff!!
And just for added confusion, the American patterns have slightly different names for the stitches, so you have to keep your wits about you.

FREE patterns in USA terms from http://www.redheart.com/

1a) There are a few quick ways to recognise an American pattern:

1. Americans have a stitch called "sc - single crochet".  We don't say that.  We in the UK call this stitch a double crochet.
2. Americans say "ch3, counts as first dc".  Well, no it doesn't, because the American "dc" is our UK treble.  We say, Ch3 counts as first treble
3. Americans say "sl st" for a slip stitch.  We say "ss"for a slip stitch.  But even this can be unreliable if our amateur pattern writer is a little confused herself.
4. Americans say "hdc".  We don't have that stitch.  We say "htr "for a half treble.  

1b: Conversion Chart 

American Terms UK Terms

chain(ch)                              chain(ch)

single crochet (sc)                 double crochet (dc)

double crochet (dc)                treble (tr)

half double crochet(hdc)         half treble (htr)

triple crochet (trc)                  double treble (dtr)

slip stitch (sl st)                     slip stitch (ss)

2) Some crochet patterns are written by knitters, a similar discipline but a totally different skill.  So they might tell you to "work in Patt to last 4sts, ending with 2dc, ss to top of last st".  What???  What Patt?  A minute ago I was following precise instructions and now I'm suddenly flying solo?  Where did the pattern go?

  Where did my instructions go?? Who the heck is Patt?

3) There is no universal language for crochet.  It's crochet is relatively new skill, (well a new internet boom has cause a craft-exchange explosion) and it's so fashionable right now that everyone seems to be giving it a go.  Patterns can be written by non Native-speakers, or be rough translations (eg from the French such as Bergere de France).  The visually transmitted skill it once was has no reliable trace.  Vintage patterns can differ widely from modern patterns.  What used to be a common dc, is suddenly a modern extended double crochet.  What your granny did for a dc, is today a much taller stitch.  It's just not the same.
Beware the online video tutorials, hosted by so-called experts.  They work and talk so convincingly that you'd swear on your mother's life that you've seen it done properly on YouTube. However I've noticed there are quite a few out there who could benefit from a couple of formal lessons.  In fact, you yourself could already show them a few easier ways!

4) Your crochet stitches may not be perfectly formed, especially if you're a beginner, and so when you're asked to, for example, "skip the next Cluster and work 2dc into next ss", your tricky cluster may look more like a gorse bush in bloom by the time you were done with it, and your slip stitch so tight there's so way you're getting anything finer than a toothpick into that space. And now you're hunting for a toothpick when you should be getting down to business.  In crochet, the better you are, the better you are.  It's a steep learning curve.

Too few stitches on left, two many stitches on the right

5) Knitting patterns are easier to read because all your stitches are waiting in line on the needle.  Easier to count, easier to see, easier to skip and knit together.  With the exception of having to pick up dropped stitches, knitters get it easier than crocheters, who are half blind by what seems like endless counting, without ever getting the same number twice.  So does that chain count as a stitch or not??

6) Only some patterns will tell you the whole story, but most will leave you to make serious assumptions.  For example, pattern says:

"Ch3, skip next stitch, 1tr in next stitch"

So where should you put your hook? Doubt abounds.

But if they said:  

"Ch3 (counts as first treble), skip next stitch, 1tr in next stitch (i.e. 3rd stitch along)" 

all your doubts would be quelled.  Because in a long row of 118ch ripping back is a most unwelcome task.  Lazy pattern writing is NOT cool.  And please be kind enough to tell us how many puffs/clusters/spaces we should have at the end of the row.  It's not much to ask and it would help us  a lot.

7) Charts in crochet can be a big help, but not all pattern writers have the software to help here.  There are those of you out there who will see a chart and instantly shut down, fearing it is another hieroglyph for intellectuals, but actually these charts are the best invention and your best pal as you work.  They are never wrong (well, hardly ever wrong) and you can see at a glance what you're meant to be doing.  I highly recommend you start with an easy one and go from there.

Crochet Chart pattern

I write patterns every week and publish them on Etsy https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/nancysaid.  After actually crocheting, it's one of my favourite things to do. And as the years have gone by, it's getting easier and I think I'm getting better.  There are some parts I seem to write over and over for every pattern, therefore I can concentrate on the harder sections.
My most recent pattern for The Bazaar Tote (coming soon, still in the checking phase) has been the most convoluted yet, but even so I've tried hard to make it as simple as possible.  Being a crochet teacher helps, as I know where you might go wrong.  I try hard to eliminate where you might struggle.  I really want you to have fun and be happy as you work!

New pattern of The Bazaar Tote is most complicated to write to date, though hopefully simple to read

The Bazaar Tote - Pattern coming soon

As an incentive, I'm offering one my Zen Spirit - Easy crochet pattern for you to try at just 99p.  I hope you find it a joy to make.  Certainly most of those who have tried it, have made it more than once.  I hope you give it a go.  And let me know if a well-written pattern has made a difference to your crochet-mojo.  Download offer available until 8April 2018 https://goo.gl/dHETbE

Zen Spirit Scarf - Easy crochet pattern available for instant download 99p https://goo.gl/dHETbE - offer ends Sun 8 April

Thanks for reading and happy crocheting!
Nancy xx

I love helping to take the mystery out of crochet 

Brand New Crochet Club starting 23 February 2018......

Do you love to crochet?  Well, I have exciting news and you are absolutely the first to know!

The Courtyard, Carrickfergus, Scotch Quarter

As you know, my classes are booked now 6-9months in advance and I'm always sorry to turn people away, or say goodbye once I've taught you all I know. So.....

Starting Friday 23 February 2018 I'll be hosting Nancy's Crochet Club every week from 3pm - 5pm in a private room in The Courtyard, Carrickfergus!  It's a special - should I say sacred - place where you can enjoy a couple of hours of pure creativity in the company of crochet addicts just like you!  I'll serve you a cup of tea while you chat, crochet and share all your favourite projects and ideas with girls who will just totally lap up what you're up to.

Fancy it?!  I'll be waiting for you at Parlour Yarns at 3pm on Friday 23 February 2018 before I show you to my cosy new room.  It's just £5 pay-as-you-go.  Bring your yarn and hooks and let's enjoy ourselves!
(Pssst! I recommend you arrive early as spaces are first come-first served!)
See you there!

For more info email me at info@nancysaid.com or Text/Tel. 07964904912

I'm happy to give you more info and talk into joining me!

Forced to unwind - aarrgghh!

When you're addicted to crochet like I am, taking time off doesn't feel good.  It's more like a punishment.  You've enjoyed yourself long enough now, young lady, put the hooks away.  I just don't want to stop crocheting ever.  I do wash my hair, and I bathe, I cook and I clean (okay rarely), but all these things with a heavy sigh and a bit of a strop.

However, as a friend once said to me, too much of anything is good for nothing.  And he was right.  Some days my thumbs feel ready to fall off, and so I'm forced to take a break from crochet.

On those days, I go to my favourite coffee shop and treat myself to a latte.  I don't drink coffee since the turn of the year, she lied, so this is an indulgence.  I snoop around the charity shops and pretend not to buy.  Books don't count.  Nor do candles, scarves or any form of knitwear.  That is just survival. And market research.

A few things I've observed from my snoops today.  Foreign people are often found in charity shops.  Tourists like Japanese I imagine are shopping for essential vintage style.  Asylum seekers can be found hunkered low, rooting through baskets I did not know were there.  I lurk, waiting for my turn to rummage.

Zips, ribbon and yarn are boxed at floor level, I discover.  Foreign ladies bring their children in, only to completely ignore them while they talk on the phone, handsfree, for the whole duration of their time there, to someone who may well have stopped listening twenty minutes ago, in a language which will sound overly animated to my ear.  I try not to make eye contact.

In the Oxfam book shop, I find I'm making a show of scanning the books in the Health and Medicine section, appearing nonchalant when a young student reaches forward for a title he actually understands.  He'll make someone an eligible husband someday.  Not me, I remind myself as I edge away and return to the craft section.  Not so eligible.  I suspect ladies who craft have a reputation for spending Saturday night weaving creations from their facial hair.  Then boasting about it on Facebook on Sunday morning.

On the train home, I spy a window seat I have a burning desire to occupy at all costs and am delighted when it's still free after everyone else has filed in.  Ah, I can definitely manifest my own reality, I think to myself.

But then I wonder, is my desire to fulfil my needs perhaps just utter selfishness, or maybe even an undiagnosed mental health issue?  I get out my crochet and try not to glance around to see if people are watching.

Back home, I'm on social media again, round and around, from Gmail to Facebook to YouTube to Etsy https://goo.gl/WfHJjf, how many people are waiting for my reply.  Not that many today, though still I circle.

Of course I begin to crochet again.  I've abstained for a whole three hours.  What I did for twenty minutes on the train doesn't count, and I think you know it.

Chevron  Maxi Scarf pattern https://goo.gl/dSBrDd

I play my audiobook https://goo.gl/koGJZE off my phone and I'm working again.  The thumbs are starting to burn and I'm okay with that.  I'm only sorry that my day off is almost over and I haven't relaxed once.

My Year* of not buying new clothes

In July 2017 I made a decision not to buy any new clothes for a whole year. I didn't think it through before making the announcement. I didn't check to see if I had all the basics or buy a few wardrobe essentials in advance. I simply read this article about fashion production and textile waste and immediately typed my Facebook post. I figured that making it public would hold me accountable, and I didn't want to change my mind.

I knew it was going to be a challenge, especially around special occasions, however I was optimistic. I felt I had a lot of clothes, though none of them were particularly coordinated and certainly none of them high quality (if they weren't H&M then they were Oxfam.) I said to myself, wouldn't it be fabulous to use my creative flair and customisation skills to use my clothes in a whole new way? I was excited.

Turns out, my excitement was not only naïve but very ill-informed. I was certainly not expecting the negative (and positive) effects that not buying new clothes would involve.

Positives:

• I was completely relieved of the act of buying new clothes
• no stopping at the shops while waiting for the train
• no spending money
• no obligation to make space in the wardrobe for new items
• no guilt about sporting a new item
• no stress about making a new item of clothing work with something I already own
• I began to understand that I'd been living with a low level anxiety about clothes, money and clutter, always feeling a strong compulsion to shop, renew, keep up

As birthdays, weekend breaks and anniversaries approached, I was reassured by knowing that I had at least one nice skirt and one fancy top which I could jazz up with a sparkly necklace.

At the same time I was applying some wisdom (read: Marie Kondo's Spark Joy) on minimalism to reduce the unnecessary clutter in all other areas of my life too.

In not buying new clothes, I didn't feel like buying new anything: no new tea towels, books, makeup, candle holders, Tupperware dishes – nothing seemed important anymore. Everything seemed superfluous and privileged. I began to feel disdain for all things new and indulgent.

Before I decided not to buy new clothes, I was already decluttering regularly by giving away one item per day, which in practice means filling a bag a bag for charity and donating it at the end of the week.  Sometimes this may be seven items, often more. I recommend this method, as it will probably have the same effect on you as it did on me: you begin to view your possessions differently. Your attachment to them weakens and as a result you begin to feel more free.

excerpt from Marie Kondo's Spark Joy

And so I began to feel less attached to the clothes I still had. Even though I was not replenishing my wardrobe, there were still plenty of items I was not going to wear under any circumstances. Before I made this decision, I had just been given many second hand clothes from people who know I'm a vintage junkie, and although they were nice quality and pretty, I knew I would never reach for them. So out they went. 

I had lost weight too (I became a vegetarian around the same time, more on that later), and so I was able to part with some clothes I'd been keeping just in case. Clothes which had been washed too many times went out, as did clothes which did not align with my new “minimal” personality, clothes requiring shoes to match the look for example, or clothes which were not, and maybe never had been, comfortable. Out, out, out!

During the summer I was very warm! I had only one t-shirt to my name, the one I use for sport (alas one is enough), and I was wearing the soft sweaters I enjoyed because they were comfortable. However they were long-sleeved and drab in colour. I also spent the summer in ankle boots. Maybe I had already taken the concept a bit too far, but I was comfy and had righteousness on my side.

The first crack appeared in later September when I spotted this cute little skirt in a charity shop. 

My partner paid for it, and because it was second hand I felt able to justify it. I felt bad though, as if I'd “broken”. Then at the end of October, I felt slightly embarrassed by my handbag, thinking it was too summery for rainy days. That lead to my buying a new handbag online. (This strap of this new handbag broke within a few weeks and now I'm back using the summery one. Perfectly serviceable as you see.)

By now, I'd been using and reusing my clothes for five months. My favourite clothes were wearing out, fading and misshapen. The negative aspects of not renewing my wardrobe were becoming very evident:

• my clothes were drab
• my cheap fast-fashion clothes were wearing out ever more quickly
• I felt unable to express myself or show creativity
• I wasn't able to dress warmly enough now that winter was approaching
• I felt I was beginning to look dowdy
• I was beginning to care less about how I looked. I wasn't going to the hairdresser's or even the dentist
• I felt invisible
• I stopped wanting to go out because I had “nothing to wear” which for a woman usually means nothing “new” to wear
• I felt older

I even began to feel that my general lack of newness was having a negative effect on my business, and so I began to look out for new clothes that I would be feel worthy of “breaking” for. Turns out, this wasn't so easy. When your whole wardrobe need a rethink, where do you start?

In not buying any new clothes, here are some of the lessons I learned:

• we have enough. Even if we discarded half the goods you own, we'd still have so much
• no one really notices what you are wearing
• poverty affects more than food and shelter. Self-esteem is born from our ability to express and make choices
• our society has a massive effect on us, whether we are conscious of it or not
• you can give too much away. I was looking for a book to read, even a book to re-read, but I realised I didn't have a single novel in the house
• it's very difficult to buy good quality clothes these days. It seems that fashion is fast, no matter what the brand
• starting a wardrobe from scratch is pricey! Probably better to maintain
• when you're options are limited, you become more discerning in your choices

I would love you to try giving up not buying new clothes for a period of time, even for one month, and then hear all about your experience. I'm back to buying new clothes again, but I confess there isn't the same pleasure in it for me. I aware of everything – from how long it will (won't) last, where I'm going to put it when I get home, which item I'll throw out in its place, how much I'm spending, what emotional need is it serving, who am I buying it for – me or those watching me?

I feel so privileged to have had this experience, and I'll certainly continue to be observant in my habits. I think I might try one month on, one month off, or buy seasonally. We'll see. Watch this space!